(tune: Farmer In The Dell)
 
Last night I watched TV.
I saw my favorite show.
I heard this strange commercial
I can't believe it's so.
 
Feed your dog Chiffon,
Comet cures a cold
Use SOS pads on your face
To keep from looking old.
 
Mop your floor with Crest
Use Crisco on your tile.
Clean your teeth with Borateem,
It leaves a shining smile.
 
For headaches take some Certs
Use Tide to clean your face.
And do shampoo with Elmer's Glue
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